Dear Mr. O'Reilly,

I wanted to commend you for your excellent comedy routine on the April 23rd edition of your show.

Your hilarious impersonation of a raving conspiracy-nutcase was spot on! You nailed it, sir!

Exposing "far-left billionaire George Soros" and his "radical left agenda" of "[b]uying political power" and "influence" "under the radar" by "set[ting] up a complicated political operation" to "smear people with whom he disagrees." Priceless! I think the evil billionaire is a bogey-man that should get more play in today's comedy routines. This reminded me of those hilarious Mike Myers/Austin Powers movies with the smirking, bald Dr. Evil. Is there anyway you can get pictures of George Soros stroking a white Angora cat, by any chance? Be honest, when you said "Soros ... can raise millions for politicians, who will do his bidding" you were ripping off Dr. Evil, weren't you? Even Kent said it; "George Soros is really the Dr. Evil of the whole world of left-wing foundations." I knew it! "Do his bidding!!"



Oh! And the chart! Pure confectionary brilliance! Every raving nutcase on the streetcorner always has some crackpot chart showing all of the nefarious linkages. I especially love the little arrows showing Soros "pouring" and "funneling" "millions" and "many millions of dollars" to buy the "influence." I wish you had thought to work in something about Kruegerrands, that would have been good. Or perhaps suitcases full of Swiss Francs. Can you try to fit that in next time?

And the way you worked in so many scary"organizations" like the "Open Society Institute" and the "Tides Foundation." It almost looked like a chart of ENRON limited partnerships, or Jack Abramoff's rolodex, or the board of directors of the Carlyle Group.

The Bond villians always have those cartoonish, ridiculous goals, like stealing all the gold in Fort Knox or controlling the weather. So you riffed on that brilliantly by coming up with -- "George Soros, an extremist who wants open borders, a one-world foreign policy, legalized drugs, euthanasia, and on and on." "And on and on" indeed! And all of this from his secret lairs hidden deep inside hollowed out mountains "in Curacao and Bermuda and France."

Crowley got in some good lines too. I really liked this one! "This is an incredibly well-oiled, brilliantly orchestrated machine. And as you pointed out, it's also a brilliant way to get around the campaign finance laws in this country." To brilliantly "get around the campaign finance laws" by complying with them exactly, priceless! The irony! And the part where she says "all this power in the hands of one guy because he's got a billion-dollar fortune, where he can put his money wherever he wants." That is amazing. She almosts makes it sound like she is actually suggesting that for someone to openly and transparently put money in support of causes and candidates that they agree with is somehow "dangerous" or "illegal!" The subtlety! He can "put" "his money" "wherever he wants." Astounding!

Not to push it too much, because I do agree that you spoil a joke by trying to explain it, but I could not help mentioning the pure ironic genius of the part where she says "The problem is ... Number one, transparency. " It implies that he was doing something secretly, like one can't just go to the Open Society Institute's website and see right there on the front page "OSI was created in 1993 by investor and philanthropist George Soros to support his foundations." I get it, tranparancy, Open Society, it's open, right, because it actually is tranparent. Very funny!

The next part where you and Crowley work together to make the whole thing into a total mockery is just so funny, I have to quote it in full. It was an exchange worthy of your vaudeville roots!

"O'REILLY: OK. And also because it's a complicated -- you see where the money flow goes. Can you put that chart up again? Because it goes through three or four places -
CROWLEY: Right.
O'REILLY: - before it gets to the intended source.
CROWLEY: Exactly. But, you know, this is a web, but it's not a particularly tangled web. Because as you pointed out -
O'REILLY: It's clean.
CROWLEY: - you can trace it back two or three organizations away from George Soros. He's not even making an attempt to keep his fingerprints off of this."

It's so "complicated" that it is not even a "particularly tangled web." And "you can trace it back." He's "not even making an attempt" "to keep his fingerprints off of this." Like he's too lazy to even try to hide all they stuff that you have "exposed." Like he was actully trying to fly "under the radar." And the fingerprints and transparancy thing again, hilarious! Hiding their "well-oiled" "orchestrated machine" and "complicated political operation" by listing it right on their "Internet site."

So Soros and his evil minions who "do his bidding" "funnels the money to a variety of radical hatchet men, who are all well paid" for their "vile propaganda" and their "distorting comments" and their "euthanasia, and on and on" which "directly feeds its propaganda to some mainstream media people" who "find and fund a candidate who will tacitly do what he or she is told to do."

The crackpot repetition was just right too, for example, this part, where you were practically in chorus!

"O'REILLY: And attacked.
CROWLEY: And attacked.
O'REILLY: And attacked, and attacked. And you know, ripped up --
CROWLEY: And you do not want that danger, not if you're running for president.
O'REILLY: Right. And they don't stop at you. They'll go for your family. They'll go for anyone."

And the punchline! "The really frightening thing about all this is that most Americans have never even heard of George Soros. This is off-the-chart dangerous, but completely legal under the McCain-Feingold Act." I have never laughed so hard! "Completely legal" you say, after all of this buildup. Comedy Gold! I never saw it coming!

I have to admit that the winking-and-nodding part was hard to catch. You might want to do more nudges or smirks or something to demonstrate clearly that you are kidding. But I was able to detect, just barely, where you were really going with all this. I think it was a dead give-away when you first said "In the past, big business has been accused of doing" this stuff. It's all a dig at the big business and corporate cronyism, the whole K Street project thing, right?

Subtle, but it became totally clear what you were really going after when you said later "are there any Republican or conservative groups that rile Soros' -- rival Soros'?" I knew immediately what you were really trying to say. This is all really about the conservatives! Very clever! The Scaife Foundation and The Project for a New American Century! You are accusing Soros, who is in fact not, of doing what the conservatives are in fact actually doing.

There was a lot of innuendo too. All those jokes about "well-oiled" and "funnel" and "all this power in the hands of one guy" who can "put it wherever he wants" and his "vile" "fingerprints". What about the part where you said "they ... basically take exactly what Soros gives them and spit it out" or "We know he [Moyers] is in bed with Soros" and "he's going to take a big (money?) shot ... on PBS." Or the speculation about the "intrusion of the mainstream media?" And where you said I "have reason to believe John Edwards is taking ... [it]... from the Soros group right now. And other Democratic politicians may be as well." "We believe that John Edwards has forged some kind of an arrangement with Soros." Some kind, indeed, that crazy Breck Girl! Or when you talked about "being held in the pocket by a fabulously rich guy like George Soros" who "can put a big hurt on you fast" because "you just exposed him." Pretty risque!

Too bad you can't just come out and call him a Jew, and blame him for all the wars in the world, like Mel Gibson does. That would have been a topper! But as you said "Yeah, but, we live in a thing of freedom of speech."

Thanks again for all the sidesplitters!! Keep up the fabulous work! Can't wait to see the next installment of "raving conspiracy nutjob & friends."

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